TAI #7 Analysis of Baseline data Con't

Learners' First Writing Drafts

Just to reinterate, I wanted to explore the nature of English language learners' writing proficiency as a student learning challenge, but based on the expectations and requirements of a NCEA English achievement standard I offered in our English language programme this year. My purpose is to identify any improvement in their proficiency against their performance on the ELLP as a standardized assessment, but more importantly on whether they can write according to the assessment criteria of the NCEA standard. 

English AS91101 - Produce a selection of crafted and controlled writing
Assessment Criteria
Achievement	Achievement with Merit	Achievement with Excellence
Produce a selection of crafted and controlled writing which develops, sustains, and structures ideas.	Produce a selection of crafted and controlled writing which develops, sustains, and structures ideas convincingly.	Produce a selection of crafted and controlled writing which develops, sustains, and structures ideas effectively.
Produce a selection of crafted and controlled writing using language features appropriate to the audience and purpose to create effects.	Produce a selection of crafted and controlled writing using language features appropriate to the audience and purpose to create convincing effects.	Produce a selection of crafted and controlled writing using language features appropriate to audience and purpose to command attention

When I offered this writing standard in our programme, I was well aware that most of these learners would be challenged because of their limited language skills. But I was won over by the fact that if one manages a huge challenge well and succeeds, then the benefit and improvement followed would be huge too. I wanted to provide a chance to expand the knowledge and skills of these language learners so they can grow in their writing proficiency.

I explained in my previous posts how I developed a resource on "...yeah, write" with 'New Zealand Identity' as our main task topic and 'The Treaty of Waitangi' as our main focus of that New Zealand Identity. I started off doing some introductory reading on 'What is identity' followed by some discussions on the meaning of identity. I also did some brief introductory reading followed by discussions on the 'Treaty of Waitangi' and what New Zealand was like before the treaty was signed. My purpose here was to introduce my learners to the topic of our task, at least for them to have some ideas on the topic.

I then wanted to assess them on their writing skills by getting them to write at least two different essay types using the brief information from our readings. I intended these to be pre-assessment tasks which would provide me with writing drafts that I can use to identify the strengths and weaknesses in their writing skills. This, I hoped would provide me with their learning needs, what they know and do not know about writing which would guide me in what I need to focus my teaching of writing on. I gave them questions and topics relevant and appropriate for writing information and expressing opinions text types.

When learners submitted their writing drafts, I viewed and analysed them using the two main achievement criteria of the achievement standard. Those criteria are as shown on the table above. The table below shows the two criteria and issues the learners have in meeting the criteria of the standards. Those issues are the areas of needs learners need improve on in order to increase their proficiency in writing.

Achievement criteria and issues on students’ writing
Irrespective of essay type, the following issues are identified in learners’ writing in relation to the achievement criteria of the standard.
Criteria 1	What does it mean to develop and structure ideas	Some issues from students’ writing
Produce a selection of crafted and controlled writing which develops, sustains, and structures ideas.	Development (can also be referred to as elaboration) is the process of adding informative and illustrative details to support the main idea in a paragraph or essay.	Lack of ideas generated to develop the topic well. Insufficient of clear, specific, relevant evidence or examples to develop or elaborate the main ideas of the topic and support their development. Reflection of students’ lack of knowledge and understanding of  the topic.
	Structuring ideas is when ideas are presented in a linear format with one idea at a time, and they are presented in an order to be received and make sense by the readers. A structure introduces the main ideas of a topic, supported with evidence, and then connected back to thesis statements.	There are some relevant main ideas to the topic, but they are not well organized or structured - they are scattered throughout the paragraphs resulting in lack of coherence and repetition of ideas.  A real lack of structure to body paragraphs - no clear thesis statements or topic sentences to introduce the main ideas, weak or no evidence or examples to illustrate or support the main ideas, and no clear connection of those supporting ideas to the thesis statements. Few students still do not know how to write or develop ideas well or effectively in an  introduction and conclusion. No clear flow in the overall structure of the essay, lack of signposts for overall connection. Unclear thesis statements or topic sentences. Lack or weak sum up comments to conclude a paragraph.
	Ideas are sustained in an essay when they are clearly signposted, well structured in paragraphs so information the reader wants is presented clearly and easily digestible. A sustained argument is when the work is done for the reader, and a strong paragraph structure is crucible for that.	Some paragraphs - the ideas are to some extent developed and structured, while some paragraphs are not - so ideas are not sustained to the end of the essay. Some missing elements in structuring of ideas thus affecting the sustainability of ideas - thesis statement or topic sentence, no strong evidence or examples, and no connecting comments to link to the thesis statements. Writing not fully controlled for lack of structure or organisation and therefore no sustaining of ideas.

The table below shows some issues identified from learners' writing in relation to the second achievement criteria of the standard, the use of appropriate language features for auidence and purpose of writing. The information and examples on the table are only pertinent to their argumentative or expressing opinions first writing drafts. 

Criteria 2	What are language features appropriate to the audience and purpose to create effects.	Issues identified from learners’ first writing drafts in relation to the use of language features appropriate for purpose and audience of writing.
Produce a selection of crafted and controlled writing using language features appropriate to the audience and purpose to create effects.	Purpose of argumentative or expressing opinion essay. - argumentative essays must establish a clear thesis and follow sound reasoning. For that purpose to be achieved, ideas(as mentioned in criteria 2) must be structured or organised in a certain way - introduction (1st paragraph) setting the context, explaining the topic, and a thesis statement. Then body paragraphs (at least 3), each paragraph limited to the discussion of one general idea about the topic, with evidential support, and then link to the thesis statement. Then a conclusion which does not only restate the thesis statement, but readdresses it in the light of the evidence provided. Appropriate Language Features: - effectively appropriate sentence variety should be used; more formal constructions (passived) are more appropriate.  - effective use of specific vocabulary in expressing opinions should be employed; appropriate transitional words and phrases should be used to link ideas and their development between introduction and body paragraphs; appropriate words should also be used in showing evidential support especially using research evidence or proofs. - use of grammatical constructs such as use of action verbs in tenses; subject-verb agreement; pronoun references; and even punctuation must be correct and appropriate for the purpose and audience of essay type.	After viewing and assessing the learners’ first drafts of argumentative essays using the achievement criteria of the standard, these issues were identified in terms of purpose, structure, and language features. Purpose of writing was not clear, no clear structure, and therefore language features were not appropriately generated to suit the purpose. Introduction: - no clear context or explanation of the topic, no mention or unclear thesis statement on the topic. -  therefore lack of sentence variety and types, lack of more formal constructions used (eg passive verbs); lack or no appropriate use of vocabulary suitable for effective presentation of ideas in the introduction. Body Paragraphs: - lack of clear structural transitions from the introduction through to the body paragraphs as well as between the body paragraphs through to the conclusion.. - no clear structure or organisation used when developing ideas in each body paragraph. - no clear structure or organisation of ideas in writing the conclusion of the essay. As a result of those lacking in ideas, structure and organisations, the language features therefore lack appropriateness for the purpose and audience.  Issues with appropriateness of language features: - lack in the variety or different sentence types used - inconsistent use of more formal sentence constructions used throughout the essay eg use of passive constructions. - hardly any use of specific vocabulary for expressing opinions nor the use of appropriate transitional words to link and connect ideas throughout the entire essay. - hardly any use of appropriate vocabulary and sentence structures in giving evidence or examples to support the the ideas because there were no such relevant ideas or information used in the paragraphs - there were the use of simple short sentences or full- run- on ones and they reflect the lack of knowledge and writing ability of the learners. - grammatically, there were misuse of appropriate verb tenses used, lack of pronoun references leading to repetitions of words and phrases, ongoing issues with subject-verb agreement, and issues with sentence structures. - Some spelling mistakes and use of punctuation marks, and generally their lack of vocabulary was embodied in the lack of clarity on their ideas and explanation.

To sum up this post, I found it a very helpful and eye-opening exercise when I studied more and deeper the achievement criteria of the English writing achievement and use them to measure and assess my learners' writing ability using their first drafts on writing an expressing opinion essay. Undeniably, the formative information gathered are very useful to help me in teaching those learners to improve their writing ability. However, I honestly felt burdensome when realising the huge inequity and gaps these English language learners have in their writing ability. They have a great challenge in front of them!